Newton's Three Laws and me

Hmmm
First law:
Objects at rest remain at rest, objects in motion remain in motion.
Well, the remaining at rest is pretty accurate, it's that darn motion thing being interfered with all the time by that blasted gravity. Stupid gravity, it's not like it's even a real "force" anyway.
Second law:
The acceleration of an object is directly proportional to the force acting on it, and inversely proportional to its mass.
Yes, when I ride my bike around I would agree that the more force I use, the faster I move. AND I have also noticed that when going uphill, I notice that using more force makes me move just as fast.
Third Lay:
If two objects interact, the force exerted by object 1 on object 2 is matched by a force exerted by object 2 on object 1 of the same size, but in the opposite direction.
When I run into something of similar mass, we deflect backwards the same distance. If I run into something smaller than me, it deflects backwards farther. If something larger than me I deflect backwards farther.